Last night was the moment of truth. Hart, Alex, Lance, and I had just finished eating at Red Robin after the Priesthood session of conference. At dinner we started talking about how much we all weighed. Hart said he weighed 190 pounds, Alex said 210, Lance said 169, and I topped them off at 225. Well, we got done with dinner and went back to Hart’s house and as we were wrapping up the evening, Hart decided to bring his scale into the front room and demanded that we all step up and see who was the most self delusional person.
Hart was the first one on and measured in at 200- just 10 pounds off, not too bad. Then Alex got on and he was exactly as he said 210. I hopped on and nearly had to check myself into the anorexia ward as the scale nearly broke. By the time the scale stopped spinning back and forth from the shock of having a cow step on the scale, it read 236- my new personal record. Put a finger down my throat! Gag! Lance got on next and came in at a mere 180- a number I haven’t seen since my mission. I’ve officially been moved.
Meet Zach Thomas. He is about as tall as I am and weighs almost the same as I do, but can anyone see a difference?
Hart was the first one on and measured in at 200- just 10 pounds off, not too bad. Then Alex got on and he was exactly as he said 210. I hopped on and nearly had to check myself into the anorexia ward as the scale nearly broke. By the time the scale stopped spinning back and forth from the shock of having a cow step on the scale, it read 236- my new personal record. Put a finger down my throat! Gag! Lance got on next and came in at a mere 180- a number I haven’t seen since my mission. I’ve officially been moved.
Meet Zach Thomas. He is about as tall as I am and weighs almost the same as I do, but can anyone see a difference?
So, now it’s time to get serious. I would like to say that it is sympathy weight and that I’m such a loving husband that I have decided to match every pound that Christy has put on, but the truth cannot be held. I “…can’t handle the truth”! She had barely gained any weight and my “bump” is twice the size as hers. I’m totally disgusted.
I have decided that it’s time to take action and start cutting the “L.B’s”. So far I’ve done pretty good- 12 hours into this decision I’ve only had a piece of quiche, but it didn’t come until I forced myself to get up and go running this morning. It was awful. I don’t know how I ever enjoyed running. The whole time I was out there I just couldn’t help but think of all the other things I’d rather be doing. I took a cold shower afterwards (actually it was a hot shower, but I turned off all the hot water for the last 30 seconds) to try to develop a tough etch in my brain. I don’t think it worked.
Okay, I’m back. I had to break for a new diet approved burger- D-lish! I grilled up a fresh pineapple to serve as my fruit of the day, and I had a few black olives- gotta have them veggies. I’m confident that if I keep this up I’ll look just like Chase (18 year-old brother) by the time we go to Oregon this June.
Well, this is all for today. I have to grab a nap and prepare myself for a quick game of rage and evening desert. I’m so glad I have all these new commitments.
5 comments:
welcome to married life. i will not disclose how much dave weighs now. but he was pretty hefty for a while.
just cuz cmrs.beal is eating for 2, doesn't mean u have to. just kidding. love your fat face gabers.
This comment is actually intended for Christy, but good job on the weight loss thing! Christy, this is Heather Wheeler(Swensen). I was informed a few weeks ago, by a prank playing friend, that I was now a blogger. I had to set the record straight because she made me sound completely CRAZY! But I am glad you found me, and hopefully in the next couple of weeks my life will settle down and I will consider taking over the blog for myself. Also,congratulations on being pregnant! And on living in Boise again! (Right?) Those are both very exciting things.
That is funny! I'm trying to lose my extra baby fat before Oregon too. I'm not sure it's going to happen. Good luck.
Mitzi
sweetie i think you are DANG good lookin! And plus, the larger you look, the smaller I seem standing next to you...so if you could put off this little 'diet' idea for a few more months (just until the baby is born!) Id really appreciate it!
Love ya lots!
-your sweet wife
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