Monday, October 8, 2007

A Young 31...


We took a much needed vacation for Gabes birthday and flew home to Idaho over the weekend. We Landed in Boise and immediately realized our California wardrobe was completely insufficient. IT WAS FREEZING! Before our ride had even shown up to take us home I had unpacked shoes, socks, a sweatshirt, and a heavier coat...and slathered my frostbitten body with them. Tough boy Gabe tried to act all warm and cozy, but he eventually buckled and put on a jacket. I dont know the actual temperature, but I think it was somewhere between I need a goose down parka, and I cant feel my body.

Eventually we headed to Arco ready for a whole 24 hours of farm-livin. I like to go to the farm because it gives me a chance to relax with the girls while Gabe is out doing manly activities with his brothers. And it gives me a break from stupid football blaring in my ears ALL DAY LONG. sigh...


So we ate these giant death cinnamon rolls that were basically the best things i've ever had. My willpower generally lasts a whole 3 1/2 minutes on the farm so I decided to abandon my entire diet plan and joyfully eat whatever I wanted to all weekend long. THIS, was my first mistake.
By the time we headed back to Boise we had eaten tortilla soup with a pound of cheese, coconut cream pie, corn chowder in a bread bowl with another pound of cheese, and homemade wheat bread with butter and honey. Not to mention the KFC we ate while driving up there! It was wonderful.

Basically the farm activities on saturday morning are forever BURNED in my mind and nose. We all hopped on some tractor thingy pulling a huge load of hay...and 'strawed down the cows'. I have seen this done on the old family videos when Gabe is a young jibber, and it was pretty funny. The women and children huddle on top of a few bales while the strapping men hurl the hay off the truck and manhandle the cords off and spread it around the pen. I guess the purpose is to let the Cows lay on top of it to keep from freezing their giant teats to the ground or something....


Then after this joyful activity, the farm picture suddenly turned a little too 'silence of the lambs' for my taste. NO - Gabe didnt dress up as a woman and dance around. And NO, there werent any moths or british psychologists. But there WAS some primal screaming coming from the mouths of a few poor cows! They were basically tricked into this contraption that held their body still so they could be shaved, branded, and de-horned. It was torture to watch as they tried desperately to get free and then when they gave up - watching their faces and hearing them SCREAM! YUCK! I watched one cow and then had to leave. It was way too disturbing to watch! And the burning hair - the smell brough back these awful haunting memories of the laser clinic I used to work in. Not good. Gabe however was in heaven apparently! There he was heating up the branding iron and holding the giant horn clippers. I guess this is where his inherant violence is from. Having to strongarm the cows and torture them! Anyway, he was a big bad farmer all morning long and came home covered in manure and smelling like some seriously burning beef! It was so funny that this whole experience rewed his energy or something - and all it did for me was rekindle my devotion to vegetarianism....


After our wilderness activities we packed up the Lexus and headed back to Boise. Pretty much all we did there was continue our food/fatfest and heckle my neices. We did celebrate Gabe and Curt's birthdays complete with a wheat free cake and six inches of frosting courtesy of Grace and Caroline. In between bites of everything we played a mean game of 'scum' and a rather violent run of 'spoons'. (It was great fun even though I was the scum or janitor every time!)

Saturday night I finally gave in to the pain and had my dad burn off a GIANT canker from my bottom lip. I had been dealing with it for 2 solid weeks and it hurt like crazy so He offered to doctor me up. I numbed it with some lidocaine and then he BURNED it with some devil stick that felt like fire with knives. Right before I started to swear he stopped and I rinsed my mouth with ice water for half an hour. I was supposed to just go to sleep and let it scab over. So I took a Darvocet and tried to go to bed. Instead what actually happened was I paced between my bedroom and the bathroom all night long dipping q-tips in lidocaine and trying to STOP THE HIDEOUS PAIN!!! It just felt like it kept burning and throbbing all night long.

Finally morning came and to MY HORROR -- my lip had swollen to Bubba Gump proportions! I Immediately iced it and took some anit-inflammatories. But it took a few hours to come down. AWFUL! Anyway now it looks like Gabe gave me a brutal beating and its been funny to tell people that he got abusive on the farm and taught me a lesson. This is particularly funny because we ALL know - if anyone were going to get a beating it would be GABE!

28 comments:

Amber and Dan said...

I want to see a picture of your lip!!! =)

stadia said...

amber and dan arent the only ones who want to see a picture of your lip. I am glad to hear that you had such fun on Gabes birthday.

Jamie said...

Oooh. Relaxing...? Though the food description almost made me want to be there. Almost.

The Cannons said...

Those were the best and worst of times.
Mitzi

Designing Woman said...

I DID see the lip....and it was GROSS! Trust me, none of you actually want to see it.

Designing Woman said...

ps: Happy B-Day Gabe! I sort of feel like maybe I should have went to Idaho with you guys, you know like a "third-wheel" situation or something, like the good old days.

Maren said...

I must say that this is one of the most entertaining posts I have ever read. However, having Christy recount it to me in person was even MORE hilarious. Happy Birthday Gabe!

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