Monday, February 25, 2008

Id like to yell at the 'Academy'

So, you all know what the Academy Awards mean to me. Its like my superbowl if you will...

But I just have to say that this year was zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. BORING. Blah. And for that, Id like to thank the most unqualified host ever: Jon Stewart. I can't even belive they gave him an encoreperformance after seeing how terrible last year went. Im sorry, I know there are lots of you out there who love this man. And Im not saying I don't. Just that, well, he's a little out of his element. The guy isn't an actor. He's not a frequent figure on the pop-culture scene. I just find his dry, sarcastic, subtle humor - to be opposite of our beloved Whoopi Goldburg, Billy Crystal, and Steve Martin types who usually do the job right! And that is why I Boo the academy this year. And I do believe this was the first time in 80 years that the show ended 15 minutes EARLY. And I blame that on Jon as well. (Because I don't know who else could possibly be responsible!)

So here is a recap of the Big wins:

Best Picture: No country for old men

Lead Actor: Daniel day lewis - there will be blood

Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem - no country for old men

Lead Actress: Marion Cotillard - la vie en rose (Which I thought was the BIG SHOCK of the night!)

Supporting Actress: Tilda swinton - Michael Clayton

Directing: No country for old men

Musical Score: Atonement

Writing of origional screenplay: Juno

So overall, No country for old men was the top winner, which didnt surprise me at all. Cormac Macarthy was there with his seemingly gay little son (did anyone else notice that??) and I think he didnt get nearly the credit he deserved. I don't think anyone even thanked him in their acceptance speeches! Anyway, there wasnt really a HUGE film out there that I was dying to have win. Everything this year was so-so.

FASHION....hmmm. Also a big fat letdown. There were so many pregnant oscar attendees that it seems like must have accessory this year has transitioned from adopted orphan to a legit baby bump! Lets recap.

Jessica alba: pregnant, and apparently blind to the fact that she has heidi braids in her hair and giant hideous gold earings slapped onto both sides of her head. Her dress unfortunately is layered and heaped all over the place. Overall not completely terrible, but not 'WOW' either.
Hall of shame clearly belongs to Tilda Swinton this year. A one sleeved trash bag, no makeup, and slicked back pumpkin spice hair...she looks ready to trick or treat if you ask me.
*Also, in her acceptance speech she mentioned george clooneys costume donning plastic nipples when he played Batman. Not wise, Tilda my sweet - to bash the worlds favorite leading man by reminding us all of his biggest cinematic FLOP!
Cameron Diaz as usual, looked like she took an origami class on how to fold her very own Oscar dress. Why oh why can't she break free from the Pony Tail??? She seriously needs to get some sexy back.
Ellen Page...dear oh dear. I actually preferred you as pregnant Juno. She looks sloppy, homemade, and a little too flapper girl for my taste! And she was 'the little engine that could' this year - so I was rather disappointed she didn't try harder to look a little fancy.
My vote of "Unforgivable crimes against fashion" goes to the following:
1. Diablo Cody. I cant even put anyone else in this category with her, she was just hideous. Jane of the jungle dress, disgusting stripper tattoo all over her arm/shoulder, blinding white thighs poking out with every step she took. Stringy black boring hair that hung in and around her face, and crazy costume jewelry. Top it off with a highly emotional "thanks to my mom and dad for always accepting how messed up i was" speech, and there you have her.
As for my "Vote of Flawlessness" it goes to the following:
1. Renee Zellweger
2. Keri Russell
3. Laura Linney
4. Cate Blanchett
So there it is. Im sure you are all wondering why you bother to loyally tune in to my blog after reading this, but you are my friends and you knew this obsession already existed from an early age. And I only said what you all were thinking anyway, admit it!


The Cannons said...

I loved the recap. I don't know that I need to bother to watch the Oscars when I can just read your review. I am not a huge fan, and I watched it off and on throughout the night due to the fact that there was absolutely nothing else to watch. I hated Jessica Alba's hair, girls camp anyone. Great, really great.

Matt and Kelly Woodland said...

Seriously, I love the fact that you are home barefoot and pregnant so that you can blog a) more frequently, and b) in LONGER rants.
80th Annual Oscars=least-interesting-4-hour-self-aggrandizing-fest EVER televised! And my pick for most-hideous (although you are dead-on about Diablo) had to go to Jennifer Garner. Matt and I were both literally frightened off the couch. Did she let Violet do her hair again?? And how can a woman that looks stunning treking through a Farmers Market in L.A. possibly "clean-up" so hideously?!?
Biggest miss of the night:
Ben Affleck as best Director of "Gone Baby Gone". In some SAD turn of events, he wasn't even nominated. Yes, write it down, I just gave props to B.Affleck.
Loves from Cali my favorite little gossip queen!

stadia said...

I wont admit to thinking anything, Christy. You know I dont do anything that may cause me pain. Things such as watch the Oscars.

Brittany Iverson said...

Tilda, Tilda, TILDA! Are you dating Oscar the Grouch? Ahh! Ellen, I was pulling for you baby but must agree with Christy... if you want it you gotta work it! Better luck next year Oscars. We need another Julia or Forest moment. Geez.

Jamie said...

So, sorry to be petty and ignore your post (which I didn't, I read it and caught up on the trash bag fashion of '08) but uh, do you not find me attractive anymore? Sorry, how high-school of a question is that...

Designing Woman said...

Don't worry Jamie I'm also "not found attractive" by christy and gabe. I'm sure this is a minor glitch that will be remidied shortly.
Can I just say my favorite quote from your blog is "once again it looks like cameron diaz to an origami class on how to fold your very own oscar dress." LOVE IT!

megan&steve said...

I love your recap on the awards. I saw bits and pieces and hated the george of the jungle lady with the big fat tatoo and white leggies also.

Jamie said...

Oooh thanks, it feels good to be attractive again. I do especially need it right now, too. :-) No McDonalds for me, but there must be something about a cheap hamburger that babies thrive on, because my first craving was for a Whopper Jr.

Also, totally having the "Lifetime Movie" dreams. What is that about?

Amber said...

I didn't see a lot of the show but I did see that one lady wearing the black trash bag of a dress and DANG... that was all I could take in. How's your pregnancy treating you!? I think I would like to see some pictures of your cute belly... I guess it probably hasn't poked out yet but COME ON I'm getting impatient. Miss you girl! :)

Blogger said...

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