Thursday, February 11, 2010

Pity Party *Graphic*

So for some reason this week has been a doozy. Call it hormones, call it crazy - I have just been overwhelmed with Brigitte's tantrums, my huge uncomfortable self, no sleep, and just feeling...tired! Usually its nothign a little diet coke cant fix, or a delicious deep fried something to take the edge off - but nothing has seemed to lift the cloud. I know, this is whiny. Bear (or is it Bare?) with me.

Let me preface this tale with some facts for you:
Brigitte on average sleeps only for about 6-8 hours at a time. If she goes to bed at 8pm, like clockwork she will be awake and having a party in her room at 4 am. Which usually lasts until 6 am, when her pleas for Baba, Gabba, or daddy die down and she finally passes back out. Not fun. But especially annoying when you are lugging an extra 20+ pounds around and stepping over the baby gate that barricades her doorway makes you want to commit suicide.

Also, during the day, Brigitte is shall we say HIGH ENERGY? Dont leave the chips out, they will be sprinkled here, there and everywhere within moments. Crushed. Into tiny pieces. Dont leave your drink where she can get it, she likes to dip her hands in it and smooth her hair down while admiring herself saying "pretty!". Oh and my favorite - please dont let her near a wipee container. She likes to clean clean with them (ALL of them) until the box is empty and they are scattered everywhere.

I can't be mad at her for being so curious and adventurous with her time. The girl likes to stay busy - I can respect that. I just wish she would keep her hands out of the toilets. I have to watch her like a hawk...or else THIS following scenario might happen. Which it did:

So yesterday (after an unusually LONG sleepless night, complete with 4 am wake up call) Gabe and I met for mid-morning brunch at Betos. You know, the delicious burrito dump. (Brigitte will do just about anything for a taco). We ate, and I was eager to get our little spicy child home for a nap, since she was being a real treat from her 4 am morning. Well, on the way home - she had a major blowout. We're talking HUGE. But I was glad, because that meant I could change her and just get her to bed! So I cleaned her all up, changed her clothes, and tucked her in.

An hour went by. TWO hours went by. The talking, giggling, chattering, NEVER STOPPED!!! I gave up. She had been standing by the baby gate begging for a "show" (yo gabba gabba) so I let her come downstairs. I decided to let her watch one show while I did some work on the computer, and then try to get her to nap one more time.

I was on the phone and I kept hearing Brigitte shouting OH NOOOO. OH NOOOO. Now, this is not unusual for her, because if there is a commercial on the TV, or if she touches a button on the remote and it messes up her show, or if she drops her baby, or if she just feels like it - she shouts out OH NOOOO in complete despair until I come rememdy the situation. So I kind of ignored her for a few minutes trying to wrap up my phone call. BIG MISTAKE.

I get up and walk into the living room, and see that Brigittes dress is ALL wet. I had give her a water cup and figured she had dumped it onto her lap because she does that quite often. I said Uh- oh, did you spill your water? And she started saying YUCKY YUCKY OH NOOOOO.

And thats when I saw it. The poop. Smeared down both legs. Squished between her toes. Covering her hands. Wiped on her dress. GASP. Are you kidding me???? I lift up her dress....NO DIAPER. LOTS OF POO. I am confused. Where did it go? She has NEVER taken it off herself before - ever! I couldnt believe it.

Horrified I do some investigating and I find not one, not two, but three piles of poop. She started out in the corner by the couch, right behind her high chair. Which I guess when she was done there, she moved the high chair out of her way and rolled all 4 wheels through it, tracking it across the floor. From there, she must have tried to wipe it on the rug because there were about 4 long streaks smeared there. Another looming pile was found in front of her play kitchen. And finally the third and final resting place - under the dining room table. Where she finished her business off with a large puddle of pee - drizzled back over to the couch. GREAT. And still - no diaper to be found.

So I carry my poo covered child to the tub. Disinfect her. Disinfect the tub. And put her back into her room so I can go downstairs and mop my house with bleach. And thats when I see it - her little dry as a bone diaper, sitting nicely on her pillow. The little sprite had taken it off during naptime - and I had unknowingly carried her naked bum downstairs! how could I NOT have noticed she had no diaper on?? unbelievable.

Then she fell asleep of course. While I scrubbed and mopped and wiped and flushed her catastrophe until I couldnt smell Betos anymore. Gabe got home and we had a good laugh about it. What else can you do?

It was just one of those sad moments when I looked down at my pregnant belly and shook my head in disbelief over my decision to do this all again in just a few months. No turning back now! (Not that I would) but seriously, double the poop is coming my way. I fear for the lives of all of us in the next 3 months. Tell me again all my mothering friends - HOW DO YOU DO THIS WITH 2????

16 comments:

Julia & Darren said...

Oh my goodness! That sounds awful. I feel your pain. Corbin has had awful diharea this week and EVERY diaper has been a blowout. A person can only handle so much poop, laundry, bath, poop, laundry, bath before they want to scream!

The Pooley Tribe said...

Oh my...that's all, just oh my.

Anna Beal said...

Oh Christy, you poor thing. I feel your pain 100%....and I'm still waiting for someone to tell me how the #%&& I'm gonna do 4 age 5 and down...three of them 3 and under.

Amanda said...

Just between you and me... I've been in tears most of the day. Being a pregnant mom is OVERWHELMING!

the Allers said...

Dude. I feel your pain. Preston has very generously decided he doesn't need naps - and he still goes to bed late. Basically I go to bed and get up when he does. Zero mommy alone time. Zero.

PLUS - the other night Dave let him eat a TON of beef jerky. So guess who was towing her 7 month pregnant self around whilst cleaning that puke up at 3 in the morning? 5 loads of laundry later.....

Sigh.

Shawn AND Chelsey said...

Oh Christy!!! I am so sorry! That's sounds unbelievably stressful! If you ever need the afternoon off give me a call! If I am home, I would love to take Britgitte for a play date :)

Seriously, when do kids figure out how to take off their diapers???? That sounds dangerous! Hopefully we'll have a kid that is not quite that smart!! :)

Jamie said...

Gracie totally did this to us, too (though with not as much trauma or poop). She pooped right under her church dress onto our TV remote. Pants are now a required piece of clothing.

jayna said...

Sadly, this is just the beginning of the bodily functions that amaze and horrify the daily life of a mother.

Luckily, the love also increases with each wee babe, so it tricks our brains into thinking that it's really not SOOO bad.

And then you have a third. :)

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Gubler family said...

holy crap! (no pun intended) that is awful! i'm so sorry! i'm sure my kids had blowouts like that too but the bliss that comes once potty trained blocks it all out...so have faith.

The Cannons said...

I'm sorry Christy. I'm just glad you have leather couches and hard wood floors. Yikes! When Corbin was taking off his diapers we put on a onsie backwards and he couldn't get his diaper off. I would recommend that. I would also recommend continuing to put Brigitte in her bed for a nap. I do that with Corbin. He almost always takes a nap but sometimes he plays forever before he does. Sometimes he doesn't ever fall asleep. I don't care. Afternoon time equals room time/nap time. It's his choice if he chooses to sleep or not. I'm kind of weird that way. Good luck! Bring Brigitte over whenever. Corbin LOVES her!

Shelley Beal said...

When Keaton and Kelsey were two I seriously went around the whole winter in SHOCK. I just couldn't believe it all, it was totally unbelievable. See, there are some good things about getting old. HA!

Bournes said...

WOW!!! The blowouts are awful enough....I can't even imagine what it would be like to find it all over the house. I was glad to hear that you were able to laugh about it that night....it might have taken me a couple days for the humor of the situation to set in :) You are a fantastic story teller...I was laughing and sympathizing the whole way :) This serves as a warning to all of us who's children haven't figured out how to take off that poop catcher.

Amber said...

That is a great story!!! I mean, I'm sure it sucked but after the fact, it's quite funny! Sorry you had a crappy day but girl, don't worry, having two is easier! You will do just fine! :)

kecia said...

oh I have been there....Bree had one of those exact moments all over her crib and everything else in the vacinity..I just kept thinking...wow the joys of being a mom! Yes it will be harder with two in these situations but it will also be so much more fun and more rewarding and you will be just fine!

Scott & Denise said...

Oh Christy! You have my daughter and I laughing so hard right now!!! That is the best story I have ever heard! Thanks!