ITS A...

BABY!

This picture cracks me up because the angle is weird and it makes it look like it has a severe underbite! Baby was lying in an off position with its head tilted to one side and its chin tucked...so it took forever to even get this shot!

Apparently I have very modest offspring in utero, because just like Brigitte did for all her ultrasounds, this babe sat with its little legs crossed as tight as can be. We asked the u/s tech after the scan was complete if she knew what the gender was and she replied "No, I didnt even try to look!" So not even she took a peek at the fine china. Thats fine with us, as I am certain its a girl. And Gabe is convinced its another boy. Either way its healthy and that is a miraculous relief. I got about 3 hours of sleep off and on last night waking up with anxiety and tingling fingers worrying about it. I kept having these imaginary conversations in my head about how I would react to bad news. It was extremely irrational - and very exhausting! 

I came home, put both my kids down for a nap, shoved 2 sugar cookies down with a huge glass of water, crawled into bed, and crashed for 3 straight hours. Tender mercies I tell you. I cant remember the last time both my kids went straight to bed, and stayed there long enough for me to sleep! I really needed that! 

Ill admit I have not been as mindful of this pregnancy as my last two.I havent had an appetite which is typical for me when I feel stressed out, but VERY atypical for me when pregnant. We all know I pack on 50 lbs each time, so this has been quite a change! Im running around like a crazy person most of the time chasing my kids, keeping them off the stairs out of the toilet, away from the litter box and cat food. I swear I actually FORGET if I have eaten anything at all. 

Spencer is the silent killer - which means he is so quiet and adorable that he will very sneakily get into all of the above and not make a sound while he is doing it! Brigitte on the other hand bull dozes her way through life and just keeping the band-aids on her knees is a full time job. That girl bleeds every single day. She doesnt mind it since her magic cure is to rub her wounds with her little pink baby blanket she always has attached to her person. That thing is so gross, Im pretty sure its causing diseases instead of curing them! 

Anyway I digress... I mention these things only because I was shocked to learn that I have not gained even a single pound. I definitely LOOK weird and out of proportion, my middle is thicker - and yet the weight has apparently just moved around. I feel bigger. But I think all the anxiety this past month has burned off every single calorie I have eaten. 

My Dr assured me that it was totally fine that I still weighed the same, since the baby looked nice and right on target weight wise. And then he followed that up with a smile, saying " Dont worry, the weight will come!" To which Gabe and I burst into laughter because yes...we remember the infamous cankles of 2008. Let me remind you :

Anyway, as I mentioned before, as soon as I got home I ate two frosted sugar cookies, feeling completely justified. I will be showing off my love handles in no time!

20 weeks 2 days

Its very weird to be exactly at the point in my pregnancy that Kallie was in hers when she got her devastating diagnosis. I cant imagine walking into the clinic for the very first time you get to really see the baby...and walk out knowing it wasnt going to live. Could I make it through that like she did? No way. I barely made it through as a sideline person watching it all happen to people I love. Both she and curtis texted me all day wishing me luck and wanting to hear how the ultrasound went. I dont know how they are so strong and able to offer support for me when just a few weeks ago their lives crumbled. I told her I might feel better if she just once told me she wanted to push me down the stairs! 

Im glad today is over and I feel like a weight has been lifted. Im sad we didnt get better pictures but here are a few:

Left foot

Left arm, flexing up by its head

Im ready to have a relaxing weekend in Arco with Gabes family. Keaton is leaving on his mission so we are all heading down for a last hurrah . The food alone is worth the trip, but its especially fun for the kids to all get together on the farm and turn into feral animals. I have 4 new books to take along so it should be a grand ol time. 

OH MY - I cant believe I almost forgot to update you all....BRIGITTE IS POTTY TRAINED! Hallelujah it nearly killed me, but she woke up yesterday and decided finally to cooperate with the undies. She is in pull ups, but hasnt had an accident in 2 days. She still doesnt like the feel of panties and refuses to wear them, but I dont care! Im so excited to not ever change her diaper again! Way to go Brigitte!