My sister's recent Vent post made me want to do a little complaining of my own! She has been accosted numerous times by people wishing her condolences over the fact that she *only* has 3 daughters and NO sons. As if having three gorgeous little girls was getting beaten by the gender stick! I find this hilarious - because WHY do people always feel the need to SAY STUFF?
At Fred Meyer the other week I was pushing around my two wild toddlers dangerously close to naptime. They were slightly whiney but not more than usual - and definitely not to the embarrassing "abandon your cart and leave" stage yet. When out of the blue over in the produce section a fifty-ish woman grabbed my arm, and with her eyes motioning to my pregnant belly said, "Im SO sorry". She did a little laugh as if to say, yeah WOOPS! I know you didnt mean for THAT to happen so soon right?!!! It was so awkward and humiliating. Had I just been called a HUSSY? Yes. Yes I had.
Ironically, I get this ALL the time. Having to awkwardly JUSTIFY the number of children I have, and how close together they are. It started with getting pregnant on our honeymoon, and everyone giving us the "didnt anyone explain birth control to you" lecture. It made me furious. For the record Yes people. I know how it works.
I just...get tired of explaining that I WANT a big family. I WANT all these kids! Guess what? I LIKE them! The best thing we ever did for Brigitte was to give her a little brother to play with. But It flat out offends me when people ask me how MANY MORE we are planning on having. As if we have somehow produced demon offspring and they are desperate to make us put an end to it!
Even more awkward than the "How many are you having" speech, is the "Was that planned??" speech. Oh. My. Heck. I hate feeling like i have to justify that Brigitte and Spencer are only 21 months apart, and Spencer and this baby will only be 18 months apart. I hate explaining that I do not in fact suffer from a mental impairment resulting in my having 3 kids, aged 3 and under. I might get stressed out when I think about the reality of what it will require to raise these children in a swearing free manner - but would I rather be doing something else? No. This is what I have always wanted to do. I spent years nannying and being a nurse for OTHER peoples kids, and now for petes sake I just want to ENJOY my own kids!
So let me just put this out there. We arent done. They are planned. And so help me, I am not going to plan my pregnancies around what is comfortable for others around me to tolerate!!!! Maybe if I were on some type of assistance or if there was some crazy ethical concern (Nadya Suleman anyone?) THEN you might be allowed to judge me. But to just walk right up and look at my two kids and CRITICISE me for having them??? Just who do you think you are?
Whew! It feels good to let that out!