Thursday, February 23, 2012

I need a raise

This is my darling boy. He is sending me to an early grave!


Dont ask me where all of Spencer's energy and mischief comes from. He is single handedly responsible for my daily nervous breakdown! Every time I turn around he is up to SOMETHING naughty!!!

Yesterday was his big day of unbelievable adventures. First I spent then entire morning collecting him from the tops of various surfaces: mostly the kitchen island , table, and pantry shelf. Oftentimes Brigitte sees him perched up somewhere and joins him, so I get a double workout trying to catch and release them both back into the wild...


 After about a hundred times of hearing him drag that stool around to different climbing places I finally got smart and put it in the garage. DUH!  Lunch time was pretty typical. I put food on his tray, he threw the food on the floor, climbed out of his chair and stood/sat on his tray. I gave up and put him in bed for a nap. He sleeps in the queen bed now because I cant get him to stay put in his crib and we were worried he was going to injure himself when he did his tiny gymnastics and landed his dismounts over the railing. We have to baby gate the doorway and listen to his sobbing as he tries to squeeze underneath it to escape. He can get his entire body under the gate but not his head :) After about 30 minutes of wrestling him he finally passes out and goes to sleep. BLISS!

Upon waking up I hear him cry and go upstairs to set him free. But what to my horror do I find??? Poo. Yes, Poo. More specifically Diarrhea. Smeared here and there, piled on the carpet, and a small thin little trail of it from the bed to the door.  There on his pillow laid the sad defeated diaper. I was so shocked that I literally didnt know what to do! Spencer was covered in it so I bathed him and re-dressed him first, then put him downstairs while I scrubbed and disinfected his room. About 20 minutes later I came trudging downstairs......

And Spencer was SITTING in the sink WITH the water RUNNING!!!  Brigitte dutifully by his side was handing him various cups and bowls and they were dumping them out and filling them back up again. The funniest part was that the side Spencer sat in was chock full of dishes, so he had arranged a little spot for himself by taking out a big bowl!!  (Look, I have no time to do dishes ok people?! ) The most hilarious part was that when I caught them in the act they were so annoyed! Mom, you're interrupting.



So once again I pull him out of his mess, strip him down and run upstairs to grab him some dry clothes. Imagine my horror when upon returning downstairs....Spencer is nowhere to be found. Brigitte, WHERE is Spencer??? Um, he's outside. WHAT??? I remember all of a sudden that the garage door was left open because my neighbor and her kids had been in and out all day. Sure enough I go out the garage and what do I see?

A naked bum, on a scooter, going as FAST as he can IN THE RAIN down the cul de sac. Calling out his name...just made him scoot faster. He was giggling, and he was FREE. And there was no stopping him. 




 Eventually he rounded the corner and voluntarily made his way back to our house. I never did catch up to him but I chased his little body around our entire neighborhood!!!! We came inside, and I locked every single door. Santa apparently didnt get my memo, because I need a leash for this kid!

For the third time I got Spencer dressed, and gave in and plunked him in front of the TV while I nursed Benett. After a little while the kids went upstairs to play and I had 20 minutes of peace watching Dance Moms.

A few seconds later Brigitte yelled for me to "COME QUICK"and I knew my break was over. I trudged up the stairs to discover that Spencer had gotten in the bathtub fully clothed, filled it up as best he could with warm water (yes, he worked BOTH the hot and cold handles, dont ask me how), and dumped a TON of baby wash out. He was having a grand time and grinned at me as I stood there watching him "wash" himself, the tub, and the walls with suds. So, I admitted defeat, pushed the drain down, finished filling up the tub, stripped down both kids and let them take a bath for an hour at 4:00 in the afternoon.


And I sat on the floor rocking back and forth like a crazy person! 4 hours til bedtime...
4 hours til bedtime
4 hours til bedtime

10 comments:

Shawn AND Chelsey said...

oh my gosh christy! that made me exausted just reading it!!! holy smokes! what a cute little boy! i love the picture of him on his scooter. that's a classic senior picture!! :)

Jana said...

I'm not going to lie; I probably would have assumed you were exaggerating were it not for the photographic evidence. Bless your heart, you must be earning all sorts of gold stars and blessings in heaven for your efforts in keeping up with that darlingly busy little boy!

Emily said...

Oh, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard! Oh, what can I say? Although most of my kids naked pictures are of them vacuuming the house!
I do have one of Tristin when he was the same age, running down my brother-in-laws sidewalk butt naked through the neighbors sprinkler.
Hang in there sweet girl. Hang in there. Some days, weeks, months & years all we are doing is damage control every second of the day. I love that you got pictures. You will laugh one day...
Love you...

jayna said...

How can someone so cute and little be so naughty and funny?? I died!! I think yes, I will leave the boys to you...

The Cannons said...

Oh my gosh I literally laughed hard out loud. He is sooooo cute!

Erin said...

Spencer!!!!!!!!!! I'm dying over here!

Shelley Beal said...

I feel your pain but that is the most hilarious thing I've EVER read!!!!

Kristy said...

I hope this makes you feel better, because that is exactly my life too! Dallin and Graham are the most mischievous boys and it makes me crazy! I have to sit with them at all meals or the food ends up EVERYWHERE! as in, thrown around the kitchen. I died laughing at your post and then almost began crying because it is my life too. Just think, we will have great stories to tell someday!

Julia said...

Christy.. I thought I had it bad with Corbin. I would now like to thank you for sharing this post! You are hilarious. Seriously. You need to submit this and become famous so you can hire a nanny to clean up all the messes and you can just enjoy your little wild children! And PS> Monkey Leash from WalMart- Best $13 I ever spent ;)

Sherry said...

Oh my!!! I'm sorry I don't live closer to help you out more. Maybe you can hint to dad that we need to move back! PS - Spencer is pretty good on that scooter...