Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Hormones Have Taken Over

So Im a terrible person. Ive known this for a long time, but now everybody else knows its true because the giant baby has 'outed' me. I have a theory that he is going to be the most sweet and loveable baby ever created - because he sucked all the nice genes out of my chemical makeup!
Seriously, my verbal filter is no longer intact, and it was barely there to begin with, lets be honest! My emotions are slightly less stable than the old 'house built on sand' metaphor. To quote Paul from Juno "Im the meanest wife ever. "





I feel HUGE. Like a 'Planet'. And it doesnt help that I crave weird things and MUST eat them. Right now Im on some crazy Indian food kick. Chicken tikka masala and naan bread. I could drink the sauce its so delicious. Last night I made Gabe take me to get some ( he gags at the mere mention of curry) and like the sweet serving husband he is, he obediently drove me there. I got home and opened it up, got ready to feast - and took a bite of FIRE. I ordered mild WHITE GIRL sauce, and they gave me full fledged LOCAL GIRL flavor. It seriously tasted like an arranged marriage. But, because the high maintenance baby demanded it, I ate it anyway. I have to say, I was secretly hoping it would give me terrible diarrhea (damn this constipation!)...but alas, it only provided the typical flaming heartburn. Figures.
I dont know if this is a pregnancy thing, or maybe its somehow exhaustion related - but I dream about the weirdest things. Im never a dreamer, and usually insomnia/sleep deprivation keeps me from sleeping long enough to let my brain get imaginitive...but somehow lately its like I wake up feeling like I just left the 'lifetime for women' movie theater. I mean, these are really really terrible dreams. Bad plot, stupid unrealistic situations, and a really emo heroine with bad hair. Like I dream the baby is born and they convince me to give it to my sister, because I really dont know what im doing! I also dream a lot that my sister gets caught breastfeeding my baby (shes also pregnant right now) and my whole family thinks its fine and im LIVID! Its just like that movie "the hand that rocks the cradle". I guess I probably have a lot of subconscious anxieties about being the worst mother in the world and having to be fully responsible for a baby! Its pretty hillarous. And Im always so relieved when I wake up ready to pee my pants and realize the baby is still safely trapped in my body and I wont have a chance to ruin it for another 5 1/2 months!







I keep telling people this is the first and last baby im ever having, and im 90 percent serious. Especially since this is my 3rd pregnancy. I want to make it really awful on Gabe so he never never makes me go through this again. But the truth is, I am actually feeling physically a little better. At least Im not actively vomiting anymore, and the nausea has lulled to a mild roar. I still think everything stinks and 'tastes gamey', but as long as I eat a macdonalds hamburger every day (i know i know - judge me, its disgusting!) I do pretty good. Id really love to adopt the next 2 or 3 kids so im hoping if i have a really super traumatic/disgusting birth it just might scar Gabe enough to let me have my way :) Im pretty sure once he sees me push out our giant starving manchild he'll agree with me. Or maybe by some smalll miracle, Ill be gifted a heavy dose of pregnancy amnesia. I could use some of that now actually!

7 comments:

Amber said...

aww... poor Christy! haha I remember those days and can't believe that I'm willing to do it again (not for a while longer though.) My friend had really crazy dreams when she was pregnant too! Just one of the many weird symptoms! And girl, I don't judge you and those McDonalds hamburgers! I had to have Nasty Taco Bell EVERYDAY for the first trimester!!! Just how it goes I guess! I miss you tons girl!!! :)

The Cannons said...

You are the smallest planet I have ever seen. Your four months pregnant is what I would like like if I couldn't eat any food for four months.
Mitzi

Jayna & Family said...

Everything you experience for the entire 9 months is in fact PREGNANCY related. So don't worry...I have no real plans to be the Crandall family wet nurse..."Mammy" just doesn't suit me at all! :)

stadia said...

sherry blinks while reading the post......I have the nausea and vomiting problem and I am not pregnant. Part of me wishes....


Poor Gabe! I guess we now know if he can put up with you he deserves to be called Saint Gabe.

Suggested name: Gabe Jr.

Maren said...

Did you expect that baby to be anything less than starving for good ethnic food all the time? He is the product of you (loving ethnic food) and Gabe (always hungry).

megan&steve said...

Pregnancy dreams are the craziest. The picture of you strolling through the Rock Band festivities tells me you are NOT huge or even showing signs of your adorable baby. Indian Food is totally awesome, but the heart burn when prego- not so much!

Jennifer said...

I love it! You sound totally like me when I'm pregnant, which will never happen again thanks to Chad. I think horrible, terrible thoughts and get crazy A vivid dreams. As for being huge as a planet, you can just bite me on that one cause I know you are probably the cutest prego ever!