Monday, January 3, 2011

Holiday Madness

What is it about Holiday Posts that make me want to hurl? They are lengthy. They require hours of sorting through uploaded photos. And worst of all - they show off the state of laziness that takes over whenever a celebratory sabbatical from every day life comes upon me.

Lucky for you there are no existing photos of me stuffing my face with Amish casserole whilst firmly planted in front of a TV blaring Dr. Mario. Also none to be found were any shots of my 2 naked and neglected children stained pink with candy cane drool wearing the same jammies for exactly 3 solid days. Please dont notify CPS. I promise that today we have all showered and eaten a vegetable. (wait, are "jalepeno poppers" considered vegetables?? Yes, I believe so.)

So our little family was spoiled by not 1 but 2 christmas celebrations! First we went over to Arco to bombard my poor In-laws with more noise and chaos than they had experienced since their own 9 children lived at home. (Next time we visit Im going to mail my Mother in law a preemptive dosage of xanax to help her through the Holidays. Right after I take some myself.)  It was fun but I know everyone was relieved when it was time for us to haul out our 3 huge tupperware boxes full of kid toys and baby supplies. The sheer amount of people in the house just amount made us all insane. Gabe's brother Chase returned from his Mission in Texas and reported on Sunday so we had a great time listening to him speak. Plus, I always enjoy watching the Beal men tear up and try to hide it, so that was fun. Brigitte was especially excited to go to Arco this time because she obsessively sings "Old Mac-Donny had a farm" over and over again and finally she could have a real farm with real cows to sing about. Plus she managed to not break any of the nativity figures despite numerous attempts to shoplift the baby Jesus. Spencer did a great job not eating too many of Grannys beautiful plants or killing himself by falling down any stairs. I singlehandedly ate 2 bricks of cheese along with 2 summer sausages smathered in cranberry mustard. The Mister even got to straw down some cows and catch a little football on the TV in the basement. And so as you can plainly see a lovely time was had by all. Just look at the photographic evidence:

We might be difficult to recognize in this photo - but Look - there I am putting Shelley's perfect Turkey on the table. And Gabe's hair always looks fuller in the soft light of the dining room. And can you see how much the children have grown? Especially that second daughter of ours!

For our second celebration - enter the debauchery of The Crandall Christmas in Garden Valley one week later. I am still recovering from the muscle wasting that occurred from sitting without an ounce of physical exertion for 4 solid days. We arrived at the cabin on Thursday night and much to our delight found the fridge stocked with all the delectable necessities. We played Saboteurs no less than 100 times. And finally when Christmas morning came - we rolled our fat lazy selves out into the living room for the only exercise of the weekend - unwrapping heaps and piles of presents from the Crandall Clauses. At one point I was lying on the floor crying because the paper My parents always go overboard despite promises to "scale back" every year. In fact, after Im done writing this Im going to be looking online for an in-patient treatment program for people who promise to spend only a certain amount but cant.

Its so sad to resume normal life today, even though all the Christmas stuff was packed up last night. Brigitte woke up this morning and saw the tree was gone and shouted OH NO HONEY! Wheres CHRISTMAS?

In our hearts dear Brigitte. In our hearts.

Thanks mom for posting these picture montages so that I could steal them and pass them off as my own work. And thank you VERY MUCH for photoshopping me back into a human. And one final Shout out to my always lovely Grandma Cele - who singelhandedly SEWED about a billion of the cutest aprons youve ever seen. We all got one (even Tyler hehe) and Brigitte especially will put hers to good use whipping up delightful treats in her play kitchen. Thank you Grandma for always making Christmas very special for us!!! Spencer loves his little bibs!

And finally 2 naked pictures of Butters. Because its guaranteed to make your day:


Shawn AND Chelsey said...

he is so cute and your christmas looks like CRAZY fun! :)

Shelley Beal said...

Oh, how I LOVED that!

Anna Beal said...

Awww seriously make me laugh so hard! You are definitely at the top of the "funniest blogs" I read. Love it!

Krystle said...

Doesn't he just look like an adorable Gerber baby! You're right that did definitely make my morning.

I echo your sentiments, I don't want to do my holiday post...sigh. But, I think I'll go throw a few pics up there for the people :)

The Cannons said...

Butters just kills me!

Jana said...

"In our hearts dear Brigitte. In our hearts."

Christy, you make me laugh soooo hard! I'm glad you had such two such great Christmas celebrations :).

megan&steve said...

Hilarious. And I love seeing the whole fam damly together. Your writing style is DA bomb.

Heather and Dave said...

Yes, you are hilarious - and YES those photos of your nakie son did make my day :) Your Christmas looked very Merry and I'm glad you all got spoiled, because you deserve it. ( I also LOVE that Brigitte always says "honey" haha, what a doll.

kecia said...

his eyes are SOO gorgeous! Looks like a fab christmas! THe montage is a good idea to fit them all in easier!